'Course it's valid criticism. My point is more about how almost every VN I read has this same dynamic where the main character is always criticising the other people's culture. I've just never seen it actually handled in a way where it has any importance to the characters themselves. In Adastra it seems to just be a way to generate conflict without giving either Marco or Amicus personality traits or opinions that can be disliked.
Like, if you really want to say something about women's rights then have the guts to make it an important part of the story, bake it into Amicus and let Marco change his mind or something. Tell us why Marco cares about it so much that he'd be willing to try and change the culture of an entire planet to make it happen.
That being said, there's no reason why you need real life issues in a story like this. It's a human falling in love with a gay sci-fi Roman wolf. Just let it be about the characters, it's more than enough.